Walk Against Humanity Description: What’s happening here?

We made an app that’s mean to you when you run or walk. It gives you fun facts too – but that’s for the liberals.

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Is this real?

As real as your parents’ relationship. Unless they’ve already divorced, in which case, yes, this is real.

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What does it do?

Nothing really important. You walk and run. We track that activity and say messed up things to you.

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How am I supposed to feel about this?

I don’t know? I’m supposed to tell you how to feel now? Like, Jesus Christ. Why are you even still talking to me and not downloading the app? It’s free AF. What’s the hold up?

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How mean can the app get?

Pretty mean. But no worries fragile snowflake, we also have a setting that gives you fun trivia for the week.

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Is there some sort of deeper meaning or purpose to the app?

No.

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Basically, we’re like every other fitness app. We’re just not as peppy. I get working out is supposed to make you happy but Jesus, lay off the motivation already. It’s just walking.

Run or walk – it doesn’t matter. Walk Against Humanity really doesn’t care how you do it. Just get up and move. We have GPS tracking to see where you went and to show you that your life has purpose. Customize your fitness goals to goals that you, as usual, can not achieve. Talk trash to friends and challenge them to competitions you know you’ll win. Earn badges for something you normally do.

– Track your walking and running for whatever reason
– Customize goals, then miss them
– Share your walks and runs for motivation
– Compete on the Leaderboard to give your life purpose
– Earn offensive badges for walking

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We are using Google Fitness to access your health data, specifically the number of steps you take.

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This app may use your location even when it isn’t open, which can decrease device battery life.